A Typical Day At The Jinn/ Kenobi Residence
by Takeshi of Gondor
Summary: (A.K.A Why the Old Man Snapped) I wrote this story on a whim, which in my opinion is how the best humor stories are writen. Please R


AN: I'm feeling a little crazy right now so I'm gonna write this. I'm warning you now THERE IS NO BASIC PLOT TO THIS STORY. I was reading about chickens crossing roads and doing the dishes while my mom was talking to me about laundry and well... this is the end result. Please R&R ~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or whatever else I end up putting in here.  
  
A Typical Day At The Jinn/ Kenobi Residence (Why the Old Man Snapped) - By: Takeshi  
  
It was a bright and cheerful morning when Obi-wan Kenobi walked down the stairs to the kitchen where he found Qui-gon folding clothes.   
"There are aliens in our house," he said, Qui-gon raised an eyebrow. "I saw them in the laundry.  
"Okay..." Qui-gon shook his head and went back to folding.  
"No really I saw them!" Qui-gon picked up the basket and walked into his room. "Don't put on your clothes!!!" Obi-wan yelled after him.  
"Obi-wan this is getting redickolis (misspelling done on purpose you nit-picky people out there), there are no aliens in our laundry," Qui-gon reassured his Padawan. As soon as he said this cockroaches started climbing out of the T-shirt Qui-gon was holding. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
"Aliens I tell you! Aliens!" Suddenly, the entire T-shirt turned into one huge cockroach. Qui-gon jumped three feet in the air and abruptly dropped the oversized roach on the floor. It quickly scurried across the floor and into the vent. Qui-gon looked at Obi-wan who as staring blankly at the floor.  
"Obi-wan?" Qui-gon waved his hand in his Padawan's face, getting no reaction. "Obi-wan?" The Jedi Master poked Obi-wan on the forehead and the adolescent fell over onto the floor.  
Later Qui-gon was walking down the hallway when her heard Obi-wan shout.  
"SHUT-UP!!!!!!" Shocked and confused Qui-gon walked into the family room where Obi-wan was playing his newly acquired PS2. "Greetings Quiggon," the Padawan said smiling strangely at his master.  
"Hello Obi-one," Qui-gon replied. Obi-wan wrinkled his face.  
"Qui-gon you are being a big dooney head." Obi-wan stuck out his tongue and put his fingers on the sides of his head giving himself devil horns. Qui-gon shook his head.  
"Who were you yelling at?" he asked. Obi-wan looked confused.  
"I wasn't yelling."  
"Okay, screeching, whatever."  
"I didn't say anything."  
"Yes, you did. You yelled 'shut-up."  
"No I didn't."  
"Yes you did."  
"I'm gonna call Master Yoda." Obi-wan got up off the floor and walked over to the phone.  
"Why are you calling HIM?"  
"Because he's fun to play with. And he's good at video games." Obi-wan started dialing.  
"Master Yoda does not play video games. How dare you say such a dreadful thing." Obi-wan put the phone to his ear and shook his head.  
"Master Qui-gon, you're so out of it. Master Yoda does so play video games. There isn't a Jedi around that can beat him in Tekken... Hi Yoda! What's up my man? So can you come over?" Obi-wan covered the speaker thingy, "He's asking his mom." Qui-gon's eyes widened.  
"His mom? She's still alive?" Obi-wan didn't answer. "All right! I'll meet you here!"  
Several hours later Obi-wan and Yoda got tired of playing video games and they went to see what Qui-gon was doing. Unfortunately for Qui-gon he was trying to pay the taxes.  
"Why pay taxes must you?" Yoda asked climbing clumsily onto the seat next to Qui-gon.  
"Because otherwise Obi-wan and I can't live here."  
"Like living here you do?"  
"Yes, I do because it is very far away from you." Yoda hit Qui-gon with his stick.  
"Very rude that was! Punish you I must!" And Yoda continued hitting Qui-gon.  
"Hey, look what I found!" Obi-wan explained as he picked up a Nurf gun and shot it at Yoda. The Styrofoam bullet missed Yoda and flew into Qui-gon hair.  
"It's stuck!" Obi-wan said trying to pull it out.   
"Doing it wrong you are," Yoda said and grabbed a fist full of Qui-gon's hair and pulled it out.  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Yoda handed Obi-wan the bullet along with the chunk of hair.  
"Ewww," Obi-wan whined, then dropped the hair on the floor and continued shooting the bullets into Qui-gon hair. Yoda in the meantime had jumped off the chair and started whacking Qui-gon's ankles.  
Finally Qui-gon got fed up with it. He spun around in his chair and picked his hair up off the floor.  
"Obi-wan!" yelled, "You pulled my hair out! Fix it now!"  
"Go to the store to buy Rogain I will," Yoda said then scurried and was never seen again.  
Obi-wan took Qui-gon's hair. "I'll fix it," he said then ran off. Qui-gon went back to doing his taxes. Suddenly he felt something cold on his head. He looked up and Obi-wan was pour a bottle of Elmer's Glue on his head.  
"Obi-wan what are you doing?" Obi-wan smiled.   
"I'm fixing your hair," and the young Jedi started putting Qui-gon's hair on his head.  
It was evening now and Obi-wan was helping Qui-gon make dinner.  
"Obi-wan what are you doing?" Qui-gon asked as he glanced over at his Padawan who was pouring the shrimp into at kettle.  
"I'm putting the shrimp in the white sauce," the puerile Jedi answered.  
"No... that's the white chocolate for the strawberries."  
"Oh."  
"Then, where is the white sauce?"  
"Probably stuffed inside the flounder with the strawberries." Qui-gon shook his head.  
"Obi-wan you really ought to pay more attention when you're cooking."  
"No, there should be 3 by 5 cards with the recipe of what your cooking next to what ever utensil you'll be using to cook it." Suddenly, the Imperial March started playing.  
"Obi-wan go get the door."  
Obi-wan ran and opened the door. Big-head and Mrs. Big-head were standing there.  
"Hello Mr. Kenobi," Big-head said stepping inside with his wife. "Where is Qui-gon?"  
"He's just finishing up dinner." Obi-wan replied and lead them into the dinning room.  
The four diners sat around the table munching away at their dinner.  
"Mmm, Qui-gon this is delicious," Mrs. Big-head said.  
"Oh, well you'll have to thank Obi-wan for THAT," Qui-gon stated, "He made it."  
"What's in it?" Big-head asked.  
"Shrimp and white chocolate," Obi-wan blurted.  
"Really? Dolorous you must make this some time." Big-head told his wife.  
Later that night the group had finished eating and Qui-gon was clearing the table and Obi-wan was telling the Big-heads a story.  
"And then BOOM POW! KAPOOIE!! SPLASH CRACK! SMASH! FLOP!... and that was the end."   
Mrs. Big-head blinked, "Oh, well thank you for that LOVELY story, Obi-wan." She patted him on the head, "But, we really must be going now."  
"But we haven't had dessert yet!" Qui-gon protested.  
"What is it?" Big-head asked.  
"Flounder stuffed with strawberries and white sauce." The Big-heads blinked.  
"I think we had better be going now."  
Now that the Big-heads were gone Obi-wan went to get ready for bed. Qui-gon was walking past Obi-wan's room when he heard *Squeaky thump. Squeaky thump. Squeaky thump. Squeaky thump. Squeaky thump crash boom thud.*  
"Owwww." Qui-gon opened the door and Obi-wan was laying on the floor a thin bruise was starting to form on his forehead.  
"Obi-wan what happened?" Qui-gon asked.  
"I was jumping on my bed and the ceiling fan hit me."  
"The what was the crashing sound?"  
"I tripped."  
"Oh, goodnight." And Qui-gon closed the door and went to bed.  
It was now late at night. Obi-wan was reading, he felt very tired. He found himself reading the same line over and over. He found himself reading the same line over and over. He found himself reading the same line over and over. He found himself reading the same line over and over. He found himself reading the same line over and over. He found himself reading the same line over and over.  
END?????  
Now I suppose you're all wondering why I put ?'s at the end of "END" well that's because you determine whether or not I write more. Silent*Shadow says I need to write more. But I need YOUR opinion. So please REVIEW ~ Takeshi 


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